Lost in Thoughts (But not Alone)
by Illusions of Insanity
Summary: Losing her memory was hard enough without the conflicting thoughts in her head. (Reincarnated!Aggressive!Corrin)


He made his rounds around the camp, checking every tent to make sure all was well. As a knight, it was his mission to make sure that not a soul could enter their camp that didn't belong there. It was also his self imposed mission to be certain that everyone could sleep at night. Silas slowly progressed through camp, checking the tents and watching the borders, peering out into the darkness to scan for any signs of life slinking about.

Silas hesitated when he reached the head of camp. Within the largest tent in their makeshift camp, a small blue glow radiated out. He sighed. Corrin wasn't asleep yet. Gods knew that she hardly seemed asleep when he reached her tent during his nightly checks. He walked forward and waited at her door, wondering whether or not he should check on her.

He decided fairly quickly that he should.

"Corrin," he called quietly. He kept his voice low. The last thing he wanted would be for someone else in the camp to hear him. "May I come in?"

He waited and listened as a slight rustling noise could be heard from inside. "Silas," she mumbled. He could hear her sigh before her shadow shifted in the dim light. "Go ahead."

He took a deep breath and walked in. He found a tent filled with odd flowers and assorted metal pieces—things she collected along the way. Lining a wall were several Wyrmslayers, a sword that proved to be a terrible opponent for her. Mysteriously, they were polished and cleaned. One with a slightly red tint to the blade had been treated a bit better than the others before being placed aside. It was a strong habit of hers to pick things up and take them, but only certain things caught her attention. It was a trait she wasn't proud of, one she wasn't keen on sharing with the rest of her army. Silas was one of only three with such access to her tent.

Corrin didn't want anyone else to know about her slight kleptomania.

Corrin was slumped over a table she insisted on taking with her. Scattered across its surface were several papers filled with sketches. Silas could see only some of the pictures, though they seemed to be scenery pieces. A few looked eerily similar, with one or two small details missing or added between them. It made a strange shift in his chest. She looked so distraught, her head in her hands as she furiously scanned each and every piece of paper. He cautiously walked towards her, hovering just beyond her and waiting for any sign of dismissal or invitation.

Her shoulders rose to cover her neck, her fingers tangled in her short brown hair. She made no further signs of acknowledgement of Silas. It was as if he had never entered. Her red eyes glazed over and Silas bit his lip, knowing that she was lost deep within her thoughts. He took a deep breath and offered a smile.

"Corrin?" He breached the silence lightly, his eyes never leaving her face and the quiet confusion and panic within it. She continued to stare blankly at her scattered artwork, her eyes drowning in every detail. Silas found a sliver of bravery and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. "Corrin," he repeated gently, leaning towards her as if that would help her hear.

The young leader blinked and her fog lifted. Her eyes turned towards her knight to find him giving her a gentle but worried smile. "Silas," she asked with a murmur, her eyebrows furrowed. He felt a squeeze in his chest at the sight. She looked so confused. Had she forgotten that she had invited him in? He was about to open his mouth when she shook her head and seemed to regain some clarity in her features.

"I apologize," she muttered. "I'm afraid I'm a little tired this evening." She gently brushed at her bangs and avoided his eye. "I assure you that I'll be turning in shortly."

"Corrin, this isn't Norh." He gave her a soft smile, hoping that it would ease the tension in her shoulders and face. "There's no need to be so stiff. Is everything alright?"

She looked up and met his gaze before slowly shaking her head. "No," she whimpered. Silas instinctively drew a sharp breath from seeing the confusion and pain in her eyes. "I'm just... Why can't I remember anything? Why is everything missing? How could I forget _everything_?"

"Corrin, it's not your fault." Silas stood a little taller and gently tried to organize the drawings on her desk. When panic flashed in her eyes again, he stopped and gave her a reassuring hug and a smile. "We will find out the reason. On my honor as a knight, I promise you this." She stared at him for a few painful minutes before nodding and standing up. Silas pulled back and watched as she slowly walked over to her cot and sat down on it. A small jingle rang out and she jumped up to find a small metal bell where she had sat. She bit her lip, picked it up and gently put it within a box that sat on her table, filled with assorted pieces of silver metal bits. She then returned to her cot and sighed.

"I just...feel lost," she admitted quietly. "Everyone is counting on me and I..." She rested her head in her palms again. "I cannot even keep my thoughts focused."

Silas felt his smile fade as he remembered how she had stayed behind in Izumo, talking in secret with the eccentric ruler, Izana. "Did you talk about this with Izana," he asked out loud. "Is that why you stayed behind for a while?"

Corrin gave him a shocked look before sighing and reluctantly nodding. "I wanted to know if he could ask the gods about it," she admitted. "I thought that with his ability, I might get an answer."

Silas took a single step closer before holding back. He wished there was something he could do to reassure her, but no words came.

Corrin clenched her teeth and balled her hands into fists. "Nothing," she growled. "They refused to answer me. They just repeated what they said before and ignored my question."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. He felt like those words meant a thousand things. He felt as though they meant that he was sorry he could not help her further, that he could not give her an answer, that she was so confused, that everything had to become so complicated and that they had to struggle with a war while she struggled with being a leader after being kept as if a prisoner for so long and further struggled with trying to find answers for her muddled mind.

She was quiet.

"It's not your fault," she told him. She looked down at her cot and Silas could tell that she wanted to end their conversation and sleep. He took a slow step back and tried to force a smile with the hollow hope that it might make her feel better for at least a moment. She looked up at him and flashed a halfhearted smile of her own before looking back at her desk.

Silas took that as his cue to leave.

"Goodnight," he told her gently. "May the gods give you pleasant dreams."

"Thank you," she muttered.

When he turned to walk away, he could hear the cot creak and groan as Corrin moved.

"Silas, wait!"

He turned on a coin and stared back to find a desperately determined gleam in her eye. "Silas, please do not tell a soul what you saw in this tent," she ordered. She left it at that but Silas could see in her eyes what she left in her throat.

 _Don't let them know that I'm lost._

 _I need to seem strong._

He gave her a nod and smiled. "Knight's honor," he told her, hoping that it might make her smile.

Her mouth twitched.

He then excused himself and walked outside, scanning the area to ensure that all was well. When the world proved silent, he turned back to watch the blue glow from her tent fade away. When all was dark, he quietly walked away, his chest heavy with the nagging feeling that he needed to do more, that what he gave was not enough. But he swallowed it back down and put on a strong face.

He knew he loved her.

He felt like he couldn't do enough to help her.

* * *

 _Author's Note: Good thing I get three files cause Silas is too cute and this ship is very cute_

 _Also convenient canon memory loss is convenient for headcanons_


End file.
